In November of 1997 I was serving as the news director for WHFR 89.3 FM at Henry Ford Community College. A big project that I did was the production of “Let’s Take Issue”, an hour-long documentary that I hosted which was devoted to Alzheimer’s Disease. Part of that project consisted of an interview with (former) WKBD TV-50 news anchor Amyre Makupson and Gayle Burnstein of the Detroit Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association. November was Alzheimer’s awareness month. I also went to the Chocolate Jubilee Luncheon at the Ritz-Carlton in Dearborn and bowled in the Bowling Bonanza at CloverLanes in Livonia.

     More than 25 years later, I was dealing with this in real life.

    My mother’s cognition became an issue. There were times when she would repeat things to me that she told me on the previous day. In the summer of 2023, my mother was hospitalized for atrial fibrillation. She had to go through physical and occupational rehabilitation.

    It was in March of 2024 that things began to make a turn for the worse. My mother was leaving a blood lab on 3/8/2024 when she tripped and fell face first onto brick pavement. Her face was bruised, and the right side of her forehead had a large knot and gash. The worst part of it all, however, was that the C-2 vertebrae in her neck was fractured and had to be surgically repaired. She had to wear a cervical collar for several months after the surgery. She had difficulty swallowing food. While she was recovering in the hospital and going through rehabilitation, my father, brother, and I noticed Mom showing the symptoms of Alzheimer’s and dementia. There were times when she became agitated, including not letting the hospital staff get her cleaned up. She would also fabricate stories such as contacting relatives who are deceased and talking about what happened in Louisville, KY (our birthplace) and in Jeffersontown, KY (where we lived before moving to Dearborn, MI in June of 1982). She also thought my brother Charley’s name was “Mikey”. Things were gradually making a turnaround during rehabilitation. She ate pretty hefty and her memory and physical strength were gradually improving. She was released from Beaumont Taylor on 4/5/2024.

    Things were on the up-and-up with my mother. Her appetite continued to be pretty hefty, In the fall of 2024 she went for a neuro-psychological examination. A month later, it was revealed that she had a form of dementia. She also had stage IV kidney disease. Her kidneys were functioning at about 15% because she wasn’t consuming enough fluids. There were small improvements in that after she started taking in fluids. My father did have to remind her about my birthday. Her dementia made the emptiness that I feel on birthday worse.

    It was during Easter weekend 2025 when things made a turn for the worse. My mom’s appetite went downhill. When I went to visit my parents on Easter Sunday 2025, she ate very little food. She also wanted to just vegetate. On 4/24/2025 Mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital again where she stayed for more than a week. It was learned that her a-fib returned. She went through several tests. Her appetite continued to decline. She would also scream and wince in agony when my dad and my brother touched her. Mom even thought my brother was her brother-in-law named George. On 5/2/2025 she was released from the hospital. A hospice nurse was on-hand assisting. On 5/3/2025 and on 5/4/2025 my father called me saying that things were looking grim for my mother and I was advised to stay close to the phone.

    On the evening of 5/5/2025 I was sitting in the recliner in the living room of my apartment and had the phone on the end table nearby. At about 7:39 p.m., my dad called saying that Mom had peacefully passed away. Mrs. Betty Jane Brown, formerly Pyles and Plyman, was 78. She did not want to have any more heroic live-saving actions taken on her. My parents were 55 days from celebrating their 57th wedding anniversary. After receiving the news of her passing, I contacted five people including my boss and my work colleague. I requested that there be a brief meeting on 5/6/2025 for me to spread the news about my mom’s passing. During that meeting I mentioned two Country music songs that came to mind with what I was going through. One is called “Beat You There” by Will Dempsey which deals with losses of people that you know. I started to cry when I said that I couldn’t sing along with that song without shedding tears. Another song that I remember was “Holes in the Floor of Heaven” by Steve Wariner. That song makes me cry almost every time I listen to it. Several of my work colleagues were also shedding tears when I was sharing the news. It was actually the first time that the majority of my colleagues have seen the more human side of me.

    Mom was taken to a crematorium several hours after she passed away. On 5/13/2025 Mom’s body was cremated. Dad took her ashes and put them in an urn that he bought online. Among Mom’s wishes was that some of her ashes be spread throughout Lake Huron. I received word that her official cause of death was complications of Alzheimer’s Disease. I mentioned earlier that her a-fib came back. I also learned that her atria was functioning at about 35% when it should be at 50% to 60%. The Alzheimer’s and dementia was compounded from the fall that occurred on 3/8/2024.

    Things are now a lot different. The first Mother’s Day occurred on 5/10/2025 without her. Our birthdays will be different. On 6/2/2025 and 6/11/2025 my dad and my brother had their first birthdays without Mom. Father’s Day happened without Mom. The emptiness that I feel on my birthdays will most likely worsen to the point where I feel nothing but sadness. One of the things that will be on my mind is a pair of baby pictures dated 1/31/1972. It was four days after my birth that Mom and I were released from the hospital. Christmas and Thanksgiving will also be different without her as they also could end up bringing me sadness. She will be on my mind on her birthday (5/3) and Mother’s Day. At least my father has the cats Ludwig and Storm to keep him company.

    At the 5/6/2025 meeting I said that your mother could be your biggest fan and your worst critic. She has heard me on the radio and saw my voice-over projects. She actually was the one who talked me into going into voice-over work. She also assisted in some of the editorials that I’ve written for some local newspapers. One thing that I would also do on a regular basis after moving to my apartment in Plymouth is that I would call my parents every evening at about the same time. Something that would really aggravate me in the phone conversations is that when I tell her about a good dinner that I had her humorous response would be “How come we didn’t get an invite?”. It was on 1/31/2021 and 2/1/2021 where we were sharing sadness & tears because I was moving to my apartment in Plymouth.

    When you have a parent who’s diagnosed with dementia and/or Alzheimer’s disease, the only thing you can do is play along with them. You don’t know when that time will come. A tip that I may provide for you: Don’t move so far away from your parents if they come down with Alzheimer’s or dementia. It could be when you may be needed the most.